What Makes Up YOUR Wheel?
So we’ve been looking at integrity and how it’s NOT about doing the ‘right’ thing. Doing the ‘right’ thing is actually much more closely related to morality, a murky world full of judgment and disempowerment. It’s really easy to confuse these two things and this series of articles is all about unraveling the myth of integrity and really looking at the bottom line truth of what it actually is.
Integrity can be a highly charged topic that easily gets lost and confused with things like:
- Doing it right
- Not doing it wrong
- Being right
- Not being wrong
Basically integrity is often viewed as having a clear and defined understanding of what’s right and always taking the moral high ground.
As discussed previously, that is NOT what integrity is.
In an effort to simplify integrity, and pull us away from getting stuck in the right/ wrong conversation, we’ve been using a bicycle wheel to metaphorically demonstrate what integrity is and how it works. (If you missed that conversation, check out it out here.) We’ve agreed that integrity is the state of being whole or complete with nothing missing; a bike wheel works when all it’s parts are present and when pieces are missing it’s not as effective.
The three main components of a wheel are the: rim, hub, and spokes and all of them have to be present and functioning for the wheel to work properly or, in this case, have integrity. It goes without saying that a wheel with a bunch of flat spots and missing spokes can, at best make for a pretty bumpy or uncomfortable ride and, at worst render the wheel useless.
So consider… this metaphorical integrity wheel we’ve been talking about is actually a parallel for your life.
Integrity is integral to having your life work.
Therefore if pieces of your ‘integrity wheel’ are missing or broken, then your life simply won’t work – what I mean is that living your won’t feel smooth and easy. It’ll feel hard, upsetting, and uncomfortable and you’ll probably feel grumpy, stuck, and frustrated.
Without integrity, your life won’t work the way you want it to: with ease.
If the definition of integrity (as discussed in the previous article) is the state of being whole, complete, entire, or undiminished, then we need to identify the things that make YOU whole… Weirdly, this is usually uncharted territory for most people. We as a society may talk about the concept of being connected to ourselves and knowing who we are, but most of us don’t actually delve into the realities that make it up.
What makes up your integrity?
Have you ever wondered why sometimes things seem to be hard or difficult for you?
It happens because somewhere in your life you are out of integrity… Huh? Yes that’s right, somewhere along the way you have slipped out of integrity with yourself and you are therefore operating with a metaphorical flat spot or missing spoke. This can be anything from:
- You said yes to something when you really wanted to say no.
- You’re pretending you’re ok with something when you’re not.
- You didn’t do something that someone is expecting you to do and you feel guilty about it.
- You didn’t do something you said you were committed to – like going to the gym, following an eating plan or budget, etc.
The impact of this can be a number of different things ranging from simply feeling agitated and out of sorts, to feeling like the world is out to get you and everything is going wrong.
DON’T GET DOWN ON YOURSELF! We human beings are not set up for success in the integrity department. Even once you wade through the confusion between integrity and morality, you still have to figure out what makes up your integrity; what makes you whole and undiminished. Even when you know what that is, most people think integrity is something you should just ‘have’ rather than it be something you need to practice at regularly.
So let’s break this down… Let’s start with the basics:
Your Integrity Wheel
For the sake of this continued metaphor, let’s say that the three components of the wheel represent three components that make up your integrity… I know, I know. You thought it was that you just kept your word and as long as you did that, you were good. Well, unfortunately it’s a little more complex than that and really worth getting a solid handle on if you’re wanting to live your life with power.
A Brief Overview:
- The RIM = your core values: a person’s principles or standards of behaviour; something held to deserve worth, importance or usefulness.
- The HUB = your commitments: a pledge or promise. You make these, whether you’re conscious of it or not, to honour your core values…
- The SPOKES = the way you honour your commitments: to keep the promises that you made and do what you said you’d do.
Let’s Dig In:
RIM:
In the construction of a wheel the rim is the surrounding piece that keeps everything together; it supplies the external support that keeps the spokes in place. So for the sake of this integrity wheel metaphor, let’s say that the Rim = Your Core Values. These are the things that we talk a lot about in society however don’t often spend a lot of time delving into.
The first part of figuring out what makes up your integrity, is looking at what your core values are. That can be a big and ambiguous conversation for some. Regardless it’s usually fair to say that core values are things like:
- Honesty
- Respect
- Love
- Family
- Freedom
- Passion
- Responsibility
Those are some pretty standard examples, and really core values can be just about anything: security, commitment, success, contribution, learning, connection, beauty, challenge, empowerment, justice… and the list goes on and on. There are lots of ways to start figuring out your core values if you haven’t already done that; you can easily Google various different methods.
HUB:
Next on the list is the hub; in the construction of a wheel, the hub is the center mechanical construct that houses all the spokes (among other things) and in this case the Hub = Your Commitments.
That may sound confusing but it’s actually a pretty straightforward concept. Your commitments are the promises and agreements you make with yourself and the people or situations in your life. These can range from:
- Wedding vows
- Mortgages
- An eating plan
- A budget
- Dinner plans
- What time you’re going to get up in the morning
If you agree that integrity is the state of being ‘whole’ and that when you feel ‘whole’ you feel good, it’s not too big a leap to see how your core values and the promises you make to honour those core values are a key part of what makes up your integrity.
From there it’s not a stretch to see how important it is to be aware of your core values and the promises you make…
Wow. That’s a lot to absorb in one sitting so I’m going to leave it there for now… There’s definitely more to come and for now you can marinate in your core values and the supporting commitments you make!
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spend some time looking at what your core values are. Create a Top 10 List of the values you see as being a key part of what makes up you. There are a gazillion tests on ‘the google’ no doubt. You can have a conversation with a good friend and see if they have any suggestions about what they see as your core values. You can even think about times in your life when things were working really well and look at what were the values you were honouring for yourself at that time.
After that, look at the promises and commitments you make to support honouring those values.
Next week we’ll be filling in the space between the rim and hub with the spokes and how necessary their function is in the effectiveness of the integrity wheel.
You see, these first two pieces of the integrity wheel aren’t generally where we get into trouble with our integrity and start judging ourselves and jumping on the good/bad, right/wrong bandwagon. I’m betting (as in: ‘all-in with the rent’ type betting) that it’s this last piece of the integrity wheel that triggers the ugliness and disempowerment that can be morality….
Tune in next week for The Morality Hangover Pt 3!
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